The Egyptian Cinderella- Year 3 writing

Here are some extracts from the amazing stories some of the children in 3W have created…

The lovely master walked over to Rhodapis as she sat admiring the scenery on the riverbank. He gave Rhodapis a bracelet which was so delicate and precious. As Rhodps put the bracelet on her arm it sparkled and shone in the sun. the bracelet had magical gems coloured like a rainbow. As rhodapis sat admiring her bracelet from the master she felt the gentle stares and loud giggles from the slave girls appearing from tree. The slave girls was very jelous and stood sniggering at Rhodapis as they laughed they told her to get back to her chores right away.

As rhodapis walked away across the river bank, she gently looked back and seen the girls getting on the barge, they laughed and shouted “we will enjoy the party” – Rhodapis became upset and was trying her hardest to hold back the tears. She was devasted she couldn’t go to the party.

Rhodapis arrived back and started doing her chores she was devasted she couldn’t go to the party and meet the Pharoah.she thought I cant do this anymore and went back to the riverbank to finish her art work.

As she sat there drawing the beautiful flowers that waved in the breeze, a slithery snake in the shadow of the grass appeared sniffing and slithering towards Rhodapis and snatched her beautiful shining bracelet from her arm and slittered away quickly. Rhodapis jumped up from the grass and shouted “come back please come back – my beautiful shining bracelet” – her eyes filled with tears and she bent towards the floor and burst out sobbing. As she lifted her head she seen the snake in the far distance travelling along the grass in the direction the other slaves girls travelled towards the party.

Harri J

Angelica sank down beside the river and felt very gloomy. Tears filled her eyes when she thought of the exciting times the servant girls would be enjoying at the ball.  she took off her magnificent headdress and put it on the ground beside her.  Angelica started to feel better when she saw the sunlight make the jewels on her headdress sparkle and shine, the reflections shone on the water.  As Angelica paddled her dainty feet in the river she noticed  a flock of magpies had appeared and began flying around.  Angelica was fascinated by the way they swarmed in circles when suddenly one of the magpies swooped down and grabbed her precious headdress.  Angelica shouted with fear to the magpie to stop and go away.  She flapped her arms and tried to distract the bird so it would drop her headdress but it didn’t work.


Angelica was devastated, she could never replace the beautiful headdress and she desperately looked  to see where the magpies had gone and  tried to follow them along the river bank hoping the bird would lose its grip and drop her precious belongings.  The magpie soared higher and higher and soon all Angelica could see was the sparkle of the beautiful gems glinting in the sunlight as the magpies disappeared from sight.


Angelica was distraught, she had never owned anything so stunning and now it was gone.


Whilst Angelica was heartbroken about losing her precious headdress the magpie had flown straight towards the sound of the ball.  The magpie could see so many shining and sparkling jewels it was spoilt for choice.  It dropped the head dress straight into the lap of Prince Alfredo who jumped up with astonishment.

Alfie L

Once upon a time in the beautiful land of Egypt there lived a talented girl called Rhodahpis.When she was a little girl she was sadly stolen by agressive pirates from her home in Greece, and sold as a slave in Egypt. Egypt was an extremely hot country and had lots of dry, rocky desert. The raging, bright sun shone all over Egypt and its nation, it gave the dessert a golden, brown glow and made the river and sea glisten like diamonds. The river Nile gently flowed throughout Egypt, people lived next to it for water ,to grow their green crops and they also used it for travel. By the time Rhodahpis settled into Egypt some girls came into her life, they were servent girls too.They loved mocking her because she was different for example they said haha look at her with lots of chores to do they did this because her eyes were as blue as the Nile and theirs were as brown as chocolate, her hair was golden and got tangles in the breeze and theirs were as dark as panthers and hung straight down, her skin burned red in the hot sun of Egypt and theirs glowed copper.When everyone was asleep and Rhodahpis was alone dancing to her tiny, red snake and the singing birds she would start to smile and she felt like she owned the world.

Jessica P


As that evening approached when Rhodopis had finished her chores she went down to the forest with her animal friends. She danced and sang the night away, but what she didn’t realise is her master was approaching. “ What a beautiful song” gasps the master. “ For this deserves a reward,” the master said. The following day as Rhodopis awoke, there she saw a pristine tiara with beautiful glistening gems lying beside her pillow. The other servant girl got site of this and was not happy, as they had never been given a gift before. “ Why would the master give it to her, she’s just a ugly slave” one the the servant girls grunted. With that the servant girls made sure Rhodopis was too busy to sing and dance again.


The next morning Kipa announced, “ Today we will travel to Memphis, where the Pharaoh is to hold a ball with a feast like no other.” “ There will be dancing and singing,” one of the servant girls responded. Just as Rhodopis was about to smile, Kipa said “ sorry Rhodopis but you’re not invited, someone has to stay behind to do the chores.” as tears built up in her eyes, the servant girls rush off to get ready.

Ela B

Out of nowhere a huge shadow appeared over Rhodopis head she glanced up to see a magnificent eagle gliding above her it was such a beautiful sight but suddenly the eagle swooped down that fast Rhodipis felt the breeze off its wings sweep across her face and to her horror she seen its giant claws in front of her she closed her eyes out of fear. unbeknown to Rhodopis her exquisite shawl had slipped off her shoulders and as she looked up to her dismay the eagle had grasped it between its claws and was flying off down the Nile, her heart sunk and all she could do was watch as the eagle flew further away she was devastated.


The eagle flew along the Nile all the way to Memphis where the pharaoh was holding his banquet. Amasis was just about to address his guests when suddenly the eagle dropped the beautiful shawl and it landed on his knee.” What a beautiful garment, this must be a sign sent from the gods” proclaimed Amasis I will marry the fair maiden that this belongs too.  Amasis summoned his guards and told them to dismiss his guests he was to start his quest to find his bride immediately.


The Pharaoh set off on his journey on his quest to find his queen.  He trudged across the sweltering hot desserts where the imposing pyramids towered over the golden sea of sand and hiked the steep cliffs to search near the eagles nests.

Girls and women rich and poor would swarm the Pharaoh wherever he ventured but none did the shawl that he had clutched in his hand seem to fit or look quite right. The more he searched the more determined the Pharaoh became in his pursuit. He summoned the royal barge and pledged he would travel to every city along The Nile. The roaring of the trumpet alerted the people he had arrived. But sadly he still hasn’t tracked down his queen.    


Finley R



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